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How to Turn Casual Dating into a Committed Relationship

Dating a friend's ex can be really tricky. There's a reason people say it's "off limits.

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But here's the thing: Sometimes, the heart doesn't make sense and it just wants what it wants. Is someone your roommate dated definitely off limits? Or is there some way to make this relationship work without sacrificing your friendship or having to order a U-Haul and a change-of-address form? Well, there is no easy answer here, because, yes, things are about to get complicated.

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And yet, the experts say that if that's really what your heart wants, it's not impossible to make it work. House cautions, however, that in order for this situation to not blow up your friendship, you have to really consider the feelings of everyone involved. The first thing to consider is how your roommate would feel about the situation. Is this someone they really cared about, or that they likely still have feelings for? However, if the relationship was not serious, or ended a long time ago, it is more likely that your roomie would be cool with it.

Not only do you have to be sure of how your roommate feels about their ex, but you should also do some serious soul searching and decide if how you feel about your potential love interest is really even strong enough to make them worth pursuing.

How to casually date when you’re a serial monogamist

If you date head-first, you are increasing your chance of enduring relationship success," says House. And who knows?

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Maybe they'll give you the green light to pursue their ex, drama-free. However, one thing's for sure, says Winter, and that's that you should have the conversation before you pursue the ex — whenever possible. Winter advises that you talk to the ex to decide who best to talk to your roommate about what happened. Plus, depending on how it goes, this conversation might be helpful in setting boundaries moving forward, should you start dating the ex. Pick up on cues by how they react and be compassionate. Leckie says that if you think it's worth it, you should "Do whatever you need to do.

If not, then maybe wait until you are no longer living with your roommate or until they have truly gotten out from under, over, and moved on from their ex.

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By Rachel Shatto. How will your roommate feel about the situation?

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How do you really feel about your roommate's ex? How to talk your roommate about it. Search Close.

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